Situation Normal. Atmosphere Breathable. Brainstem Injected. Dialogue Engaged.
stg-roadrunner-gfx
Thursday, May 04, 2006

For 1776

Poems of the Revolutionary War

1.

King George sits across the pond,
Picking his voluminous nose.
We don’t need no stinkin’ King,
We’ve got land owners instead.

2.
Take that three point hat
And shove it up your hairy ass.
Your red coat may be red already,
But I’ll make it redder.

3.
I’m a mighty musket man, yes I am.
I’m gonna pellet pop you, you monarchist fuckpig.
Thrice you’ll be shot, and to the ground you’ll fall,
All British and hosing from little sprinkler holes.
(even though we haven’t invented sprinklers yet,
I’ll bet Benjamin has thought of them by now.)

4.
We named our thirteen starting with consonants,
Instead of vowels, like say, England or Ireland.
The Scots got it right,
You need a good strong beginning,
Like us trouncing your pathetic armies.
Then again, our nation is named America,
Which begins with an A,
But we’re gonna take hypocrisy to a whole new level,
So ignore the discrepancy,
And don’t fuck with us, you limey crumpet bunkers.

5.
We should’ve teabagged your mothers’ foreheads,
Instead of dumping it all in the harbor.

6:08 PM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm

1 Comments:

May 16, 2006 12:28 PM, Blogger karen gsteiger said...

I think you should write
some haikus. You will achieve
poetic genius.

Or send them to my
underperforming website.
I'd post them forthwith.

 

Post a Comment

left-arrow Home

stg-shark
?
Lazy Bullshit
For Dotage
Breathe Part Two
Breathe Part One
Fuck Everything
Dive Bars and Profanity
Fecal Flaunting
Just A Peep
Shameless Promotion
August 2002
September 2002
October 2002
November 2002
December 2002
January 2003
February 2003
March 2003
April 2003
May 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
August 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
February 2008
May 2008
August 2008
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
December 2009
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
August 2010
August 2011
September 2011
February 2012
June 2012
July 2012
August 2012
October 2012
November 2012
May 2013
August 2013
September 2013
December 2013
May 2014
October 2014
November 2014
December 2016