Tuesday, March 22, 2005
I'll Hire Snipers
Paul For Mayor
My Initial Reaction
Vagina Piercing, Tattoos, Kiddieland, Twin Peaks: The River Grove Mayoral Battle
In the first link above you can visit the website for a mayoral candidate in my fair village. Actually we're a tiny little patch of land squeezed between Elmwood Park and Franklin Park, two larger and better known suburbs. We get treated like the proverbial little brother who gets the condescending pats on the head and the raggedy hand me down clothing. Those towns get all the good tax revenues and we get potholes.
Below that is a link to my initial take on the mayoral race. It was prompted by a garish mailing from Paul Collurafici. The other candidate is Marilynn May. Her street team has taken to planting white signs in every lawn in River Grove. They are so prevalent that I'm the only house on my end of the street without one. Probably since I removed it and destroyed it. They didn't ask for my permission, you see. Paul, at least, has been vocal and plaintive instead of silent and assuming. He gets my vote on this merit alone. I probably won't attend his second meet and greet, which is tonight, but I will punch the ballot for him. My precinct votes in a burrito shack. Really. It's awesome.
I don't like this uptight establishment May woman. She's expecting victory on strength of momentum alone. I don't care if she was the dead mayor's wife or the PTA chairwoman or the.... whatever she's done until now. Nobody plants a political sign in my lawn in the dark of night without asking. Nobody. She probably recuited a bunch of glee club highschool goody twoshoes from the local church social to prance about the village with these damn placards. These children probably felt like little legal vandals, dabbling in lawn sign politics instead of toilet papering trees. She probably bought the giggling little shitheads ice cream cones and varsity letters for their efforts. I would love to release fire ants and sewer rats into her headquarters in retaliation, but I swore off politics last November.
But don't let that stop you. 10:21 AM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm
M-O-O-N, That Spells Moon.
Friday Morning Blues
Circulatory Trench Warfare
Home Improvement Stir Fry
Waterlogged and Vicious
Pixie Snort Handshake Contracts