Situation Normal. Atmosphere Breathable. Brainstem Injected. Dialogue Engaged.
Monday, March 21, 2005

Penny Ante

I may need a doctor. My brain is loose in the pan and slides back and forth when I stand or sit. Each time it thumps to a wet stop against my skull wall. I hear a smacking sound like saltwater against the face of a cliff. Dull reverberations travel down my spine.

My nose bled in the shower this morning. I let it drip and splash for a few seconds. I watched the swirling puddles as they diluted. Steaming jets pelted my palms and rinsed the blood onto the curtain. I licked my upper lip.

I walked outdoors into dry cold. My red nostril froze shut. I tried to breathe through my right. It quickly clogged with yellow. I became a mouthbreather. I felt primitive and stupid.

I was late for work.

My face is hanging from my skull, poorly cured leather hastily stapled to bone by a harried cobbler. I wish to sleep for a day. No smiling until then.
8:31 AM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm


March 21, 2005 9:22 AM, Blogger Belldoorlover said...

Since your now a mouthbreather you should make sure to stand close to some poor unsuspecting and breath the sick breath. Someone else should have to suffer too.

March 21, 2005 9:37 AM, Blogger Other Brother said...

Dude, get you some lemon flavored Theraflu and spike it with the Turkey. If you can find local honey, throw that in too. good luck.

March 21, 2005 9:54 AM, Blogger Dave Morris said...

Get well my friend. Don't let it all get you down! Consider it an opportunity to get someone, ANYONE, to give you some pity oral.

Preferrably a female.

March 21, 2005 10:08 AM, Blogger Lostinspace said...

I've been searching for some worthy blogs to read,and I came across yours and decided that this was one of them. Do whatever you want, but you can find me at
And no pity oral from me. :)

March 21, 2005 1:38 PM, Blogger bethany said...

perhaps you need not only pity oral but someone to play nurse for you? i am up for either.

March 21, 2005 1:45 PM, Blogger Kerouaced said...

Love the description in this one. You seem to be coming up with more and more good ones.

March 22, 2005 4:10 AM, Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Two words: steam bath.

If you can tolerate all the naked old men, I strongly recommend a health club steam bath.

March 23, 2005 7:13 AM, Anonymous sarcastrix said...

I would comment, but my brain hasn't woken up yet.

Every time I see dave morris' profile pic, though, I think he's Giles.

Can I go back to sleep now?

March 23, 2005 9:18 AM, Blogger Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm said...

Huh? What? No, I'm Giles. That's my name. Note my copyright notice below.


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