Blogger's comments aren't working anywhere sitewide. I promise to force feed them moldy turnip gruel and to jam rock salt into their ears with a pool cue.

In the meantime, a few words of explanation are in order. As you can see, unless you have a magical braille monitor, this site has been redesigned. My friend Tom took a few of my tribal scribblings and a newspaper theme and cobbled together this beautiful arrangement. My thanks and a modest chunk of cash were directed his way. He did a wonderful job, unless you tell me something looks off kilter, in which case I'll duct tape his eyelids shut and give him rope burns. Just kidding Tom.

The shark came from a ream of paper. It's the logo for a paper company, although I don't remember their name. I redrew it with spikes and swirls and poison. The suicide ghost lurking under my text was a re-interpretation of a lawyer puppet from an old cover of John Grisham's The Firm. It had a green marble look to the rest of the cover. I left the strings off and turned him upside down so he could be a jumper instead of a puppet. The fire extinguisher was an iconic little thing I drew while bored at work back in 2000. It's appropriate to my handle here so up it went.

I've finally added links! There's only a few right now. I put up my favorites, but I'll be adding links to a lot more of you in my Cohorts section very soon. I hope nobody is insulted that I didn't place you up top, but I can't put everybody there. I still love you.

I started blogging in 2002 when I was forwarded a link for a blog-like thing called True Porn Clerk Stories by a girl named Ali, in which she vividly skewered her customers and related amazingly amusing anecdotes about her experiences behind the counter at a Chicago adult video parlor. I hadn't written anything since a few apolcalypse stories back in 8th grade, but I decided I wanted to share my experiences in much the same manner. I started by writing about strange coworkers and ugly drug purchasings. There were a few times that I lapsed into melodramatic self-pity. When I feel that way now I lash out unfairly at a large segment of the population instead. It's more fun! I've been on and off with this until I moved to blogger late last December. Now I try to write daily to keep my brain sponge battery well charged.

Thank you. My email is in my profile temporarily until comments return. 10:10 AM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm