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Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Dubious Scribbling

I have arrived at work on this fine Tuesday morning with a bag of eggs and chicken. For lunch. Today promises to be a busy day full of ringing telephones, irate coworkers, frenzied scrambling, and frustrated exhaustion. My clothes feel too tight and my shower was cold.

Enough complaining! I'm actually in a decent mood. I slept for fourteen hours and I have energy. Today I will write a book, jog ten miles, design a new frictionless energy source, and save a baby from a burning building. If I have a few spare moments I'll balance the federal budget. I intend to accomplish all of this with chop sticks plugging my nose and a paperclip necklace around my neck. It's good to convey a deadly serious formal appearance if I expect people to treat me seriously. I also intend to fashion a viking hat from tinfoil. Headgear is important. I'd wear a suit but people would accuse me of interviewing for a position elsewhere.

I'm falling off a bit. Getting a little wacky, a little lazy, a little off base. No focus or discipline. I'm kidding myself if I think I had some before, but I'm aware of my scattershot haplessness today. I'm thinking that if I boil some animal corpses for a few hours tonight I should be able to create a hearty broth in which to soften many multicolored vegetables. I'll eat with a funnel and.... my heart is just not in this today. Sorry. I meant that about the viking hat though.
8:51 AM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm


March 22, 2005 5:11 PM, Blogger Latigo Flint said...

My god, look at those three paragraphs.

We are born, child. We live, adult. We die, crazy old fuckers.

March 22, 2005 11:22 PM, Blogger Matteus Von Mustard said...

Eating with a funnel! Brilliant! Why in Gods name didn't I think of that! And sooner!?!? So many lives could have been saved.

You sir are a scholar and a gentleman.


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