I'm tired. My eyelids are lined with lead. I have a raccoon's gaze. My shoulders sag. I stumble as I walk. My head is bowed. Help.

14 hours of work down yesterday. 15 today. I'm running on empty. I might take some speed for a jumpstart, but the price would be poor sleep once the marathon is over. Recovery will be nil. That shit makes me sweat like a boiled camel. Not sure about this one.

Thankfully I have an imagination like a turbocharged weasel rocket. I can always drift off and let the toys on my desk tell me what to do. Darth Vader just points at me. "What? Why are you pointing at me like that? You're not my dad." Then there's Spider Jerusalem. He just empathizes. He's got a scowl. He says "Life sucks, get a helmet kid. Grrr."

I also have a big glass block on my desk with a 2400 baud modem inside it. I'd rather have a tarantula globe, but beggars can't be taxidermists.

Did I tell you that I'm a contractor here at giant computer company? My parent company was part of the Enron umbrella. Kenneth Lay sent me stock options. I never invested them. Lucky me. I have Enron mugs. Keychains, too.

Yeah.

Um.

I have four clocks on my desk, plus another on the computer. They are all different. Right now, Central time, it's 10:55, 10:57, 10:53, 10:56, and 12:02. It's been 12:02 for over a month. I think that clock is groundhogged.

Help.
1:01 PM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm