Thursday, October 20, 2005
Our Modern Parlance
NLCS Game 6 Announcer Thom Brennaman: "You can see where all the fans signed the walls here at Busch Stadium, saying goodbye, leaving memories of their favorite games in marker on the various concrete posts around the park."
Announcer Bob Brenly: "I wrote something down, but we can't show that on TV."
Back in a Chicago living room...
Roy: "Yeah, he probably wrote it in the bathroom. On a stall door. I wonder what Bob would write?"
John: "Let's see here. I know. Here I sit so broken hearted, tried to shart but only farted!"
Roy: "Shart? Not shit but shart?"
John: "Yeah! Don't tell me me you don't know what shart means. It's when you think you're gonna fart but you end up shitting your pants."
Roy: "I know, I know. I did it once. A long time ago.
John: "You sharter. You're a wannabe Bob Brenly with anal problems."
Roy: "Nah. I was shitfaced that night. Hey, you ever eat while you're shitting? Like pizza or something?"
John: "Ummmm. Yeah, I think I did. I was drunk. Definitely pizza. I know I've eaten candy on the shitter before. Doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of shitting, though? Downloading and uploading at the same time? Apart from being gross, it just seems retarded to me. Like taking a taxicab around the block."
Roy: "Like taking a taxicab around the block? Hahahaha! That's classic. I'm gonna eat some pepperoni pizza on the can this weekend just so I can go around telling people I took a taxi around the block. Then I'll laugh until they ask me what's so funny."
John: "You would. What if Darren did that? But because he was so drunk, he shit in the bathtub, then passed out there, pizza crust sticking out of the shit mound oozing from between his legs."
Roy: "Taking a taxi around the block and crashing into the house."
There you go, folks. Here's a new entry into your vocabulary of vulgar phrasology: Eating while shitting shall henceforth be referred to as "taking a taxi around the block." 10:58 AM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm
Ramshackle Ambush Part Two
Ramshackle Ambush Part One
Better Than Parachutes
Gilroy's Afternoon Hallucination
Seeking Bulldozer Rentals
No Paper This Time