Monday, October 10, 2005
My new home will be at 31st and Wallace. I wandered around the neighborhood, ducking under White Sox flags and hopping over sidewalk fissures. I downed a few beers at the VFW hall and The Redwood Lounge. I like the neighborhood. During my visit, my ears were fed speech both crass and anecdotal, all of it magic:
"I wouldn't fuck her with a stolen dick."
"You couldn't get laid at a women's prison even if you had a fistful of pardons."
Here's a good one:
"Steroids will make you batshit crazy, man. I knew this nice little guy- he was half Japanese I think- his name was Mike Onaga. He was shy and nerdy, you know? Real short, too, couldn't have weighed in over a buck-ten, buck-twenty. He started taking 'roids back in... lemme see here... musta been 86. He was telling me about the steroid cycles. The first year on them, he could only take two cycles a year or his heart could explode.
"Two years later he was fucking built, man. He musta gained 130 pounds. He wasn't nice anymore, but he liked me, so what did I care, right? He became a mean motherfucker with a hard-on for trouble. When we worked at Jewel-Osco, that crazy little fucker would pick up whole grocery carts. You know, the metal ones! Heavy steel! He'd lift 'em up in the air and throw them over four aisles! Four aisles of groceries! It was insane. They'd crash into cake mixes or soap bottles or whatever and just knock shit all over, and Mike would scream and howl like a fuckin animal.
"He's in jail now. He was raging all the time, and he got in a fight with some dude at a concert. Musta been in 1990. He bashed the guy's head into the metal stairs and then stomped his head. Killed him. I think it was at the Vic... no, it was the Avalon. That's right. That mighta had something to do with the Avalon shutting down, I don't know. He's probably still locked up."
I'm gonna like living in Bridgeport. Home sweet home. 11:31 AM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm
Better Than Parachutes
Gilroy's Afternoon Hallucination
Seeking Bulldozer Rentals
No Paper This Time
Alleyway Ribcage Rumble
Shoot Straight You Bastards!