I chickened out. I didn't shave my head. After two days' growth, I look like Kurt Russell from Soldier. I can live with that for a couple weeks. I'm going to visit an army surplus store for a costume on Saturday morning if my car is well by then.

I'm wearing a gaudy Chicago Cubs sweater today. I could just tattoo "loser" on my forehead, but this is more effective. I really should do my laundy so I'll have more "staying warm" options.

I ordered a wreath from the boy scouts and some cashews from the girl scouts this month. We have scout parents here in the office that bring order forms to help their kids with their sales. I remember when I was a scout, and I always felt that the kids whose parents helped them were cheaters. My dad was always involved in the pack or troop or whatever, but he'd never help me with fundraising projects. I still usually finished in the top five, because I had nothing better to do than go door-to-door all day long. I also sold Christmas cards and such where I got a dollar per item sold, or points to redeem for prizes. They always had ads on the back of Boys' Life magazine. One family neglected to answer their door for delivery two times, and I never went back. Eventually they started calling my parents and sending angry mail, but I always intercepted them.

I got cancelled on two weekday delivery shifts, so I don't have to go through hell weekend again like last week. That's a big relief. I was about to reach the point where I intentionally crash my car into the highway median and run down the breakdown lane naked waving lit flares, loudly inviting people to jumpstart my nuts while I defecate in liquidy clumps down my legs.
1:40 PM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm