My eyes sting. One curse of sobriety is my inability to fall blissfully into slumber immediately upon going horizontal. This clock changing nonsense may be a factor as well. So could the invisible waves from Planet X. I managed to sink into a shallow sleep around four this morning. That lasted until shortly before seven, when the condo construction crew began their toil mere meters from my bedroom window.

Most construction crews have the decency to make regular noises like hammer pounds, brick clacks, and saw grinds. Not these bastards. Their sounds are jackhammers, shearing sheetmetal, loud beeping, and some odd thing that goes "Gu-gu-gu-gralllp!" every twenty seconds. I wanted to rip out the window screen, aim my morning wood, and arch a bold yellow jet of steaming piss right onto a hardhat. I reined in the idea. I'm not getting arrested on opening day of the baseball season. There's no radios in jail.

I went to the laundromat on Sunday afternoon. When I arrived there were lots of people inside sweating and panting, so I took the initiative and blocked the front door open with a large trashcan. Air swirled in. I stood in the doorway, backlit by the incoming sunlight. I was Atmosphere Jesus, delivering a redemptive breeze to a stifled sauna of laundry hell.

I loaded my loads and looked for a camping pitch to plant my ass with a paperback. The only open perch was a ledge rimming the front window. I sat there in the sun's glare and read my book. People walking the strip mall saw me though the glass. I felt like an Amsterdam quarter whore. The arcade games behind me hollered inanities while I followed the fictional hunt for a serial killer.

Buzzers buzzed. I rose. I've been doing my own laundry for five years, but I'd never folded it before. I felt so grown up. I saw Polish and Mexican immigrants using the tables and decided that I would try the same. Folding clothing wasn't as theraputic as washing dishes, but it was okay. I might enjoy the non-rumpled look. We'll see.

I made my magic soup on Saturday. It tasted so good. So good. I can't even thesaurus about it. Words cannot convey. I ate so much. I want to relive Saturday in perpetuity. 9:02 AM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm