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Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Bad Recipes

So. This quitting smoking thing. It has a few side effects. Before, I would light a cigarette to occupy my hands and focus my nervous energy. It was punctuation for living. Now I pace in the kitchen, peppering my meals too many times. I'm oversaturating.

I'm going to teach myself to fold origami without watching my hands or the paper. I can make a crane bird currently, but it's time to reteach myself the frogs and flowers and so forth. Right now my hands are on their way to sentience and I'd hate to have them commit a crime. Like strangling a person.

Another side effect is social. As a cigarette smoker, I was a happy, huggy, "I love you guys" drunk. Not so any more. Now I'm an argumentative drunk. Last night I disagreed with anything my friends said because for some reason I had to let them all know how wrong they were about anything that came out of their mouths. I was a dickhead. Sorry, Pat. I even yelled at him for a half hour for adding a pinch of rosemary to the already disastrous soup we cobbled together.

I think part of it is the lowered marijuana consumption as well. My brain is no longer impeded by a daily intake of mental novocaine. The brain is in overdrive and I can't stop myself from talking. Once I start. I need to learn to control my mouth. Apparently I never learned this and the drugs were taking care of it for me. Now everything just pours out sans filter or prudence. The result is that I'm an asshole.

My previous soups were good because they were broth based. Last night's was made with 1 can of Campbell's sausage gumbo and 1 can of chicken w/ wild rice as the base with all sorts of veggies thrown in. Let's face it, that can't hold a candle to a boiled hambone broth. Everyone but me liked it, to be fair. I think I've just eaten too much celery and carrots in the past few days and I'm sick of soup. Maybe I was just peeved at the soup because I kept drunkenly sampling it and burning the bejesus out of my mouth.

I need a good bloody steak to gnaw on. That ought to help with these frustrated aggressive tendencies cropping up. Temporarily. This entry is boring shit. Fuck.
11:01 AM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm


January 25, 2005 2:59 PM, Blogger Staci said...

No not a boring post actually hoping you were going to tell me what else to cook. I don't cook, not b/c I don't know how but I am lazy, actually if I had to cook I would have to look at the recipe step by step. =/ Oh well, as for quitting smoking BLECH, bad habit. Aaron is trying to quit too, but I think he is doing horribly, hopefully he will get better though, it is bad for your health and it makes my hair smell bad. ;-)

January 25, 2005 9:22 PM, Blogger Bookfraud said...

Dude. Thank you for commenting on Bookfraud, most appreciated. Didn't know how else to respond to you except to post on your blog right back.

As for your questions, yes, I write fiction, an expensive hobby subsidized by a full-time job. I have worked in journalism since college, so I have seen my name in print, but not much as a spinner of fictitious tales. My novel, which I may talk about one day in the blog, has an agent who is shopping it before publishers, who all say no (idiots).

As to your comment that you don't tell people you write "because without published results, I'll just appear foolish," I could not empathize more. You are a writer, however, because you write -- blogging, newspaper column, novel, it doesn't matter. You post stuff, people read it, you get feedback, and ultimately that's the most one can hope for. People have been called writer for a hell of a lot less. Plus, you're funny as shit.


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