I feel better today. Yesterday I managed to get a headache, a nosebleed, and an earache all during the 1pm hour. After work I went straight home and crashed out until about the 3rd inning, which would be 8pm.

I was wrong. I told everybody that the pope would die on Wednesday. He didn't die yesterday. I've been saying that for almost two weeks. Whoops. Good for him. I'd rather see a strong wind knock him over than actually have him die. I think there should be an Elderly Pratfalls TV show. We could all send in those home-recorded hilarious moments. With this particular subject matter they'll also border on sad and disturbing. Alzheimer's Alley!, tonight on FOX.

Yesterday I heard some people discussing what underwear they wear. Boxers, briefs, none, etc. I was really tempted to tell them that I chew up several packages worth of chewing gum until it's a nice big wet wad, and then I spread it all over my crotch and try to pop bubbles each time I scratch my nuts. But I didn't.

I made the right decision.
10:54 AM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm