I'm splayed out in a deluxe luxury bucket-style spinning office chair. I have just learned the origin of the word cakewalk, and no I'm not going to share it. It was easy to search out if you actually care.

I got a surprise yesterday when my dad called me at noon. It was his birthday. Shit. He invited me to dinner (during Game 1 of the NLCS!) and asked me to help change his alternator. I accepted both, but right then one my younger sister's employees offered to help immediately and I ducked that car repair. I went to the Chinese restaurant which mercifully had a TV going in the kitchen with the game on it. It was a hell of a game. The Cubs lost, but it was still un-be-fucking-lievably entertaining. Somebody gave Dad toothpaste and listerine pocket strips. Ouch. She gave him 2 packs of Bensen and Hedges De Luxe Ultra Lights also. Talk about mixed messages. My older sister bought him a fucking daily study bible. That's awful. The food was good but caused immediate gastrointestinal discomfort. My older sis was giving me grief for going to check on the game more than I was sitting at the table. I explained to her that it was the washroom I was visiting. "Got the craps?" she asked. I told her I was having my first period.
6:26 PM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm