Situation Normal. Atmosphere Breathable. Brainstem Injected. Dialogue Engaged.
Thursday, April 03, 2003

North And South Of The River

I've been pointing and yelling at my television set. Cackling, ranting, and sighing. I can't wait fro November 3rd, 2004. Election day. The first presidential election in 8 years.

My new job has me working from 10pm until the wee hours. I love it. Once I've past my trainee stage I'll be able to move back out of my folks house. My income will skyrocket. We have uncomfortable couches here and I can't make noise past 10pm or smoke in the house. Stifling.

Baseball has returned, and once again the sun shines above. This is church for me. I'm going to opening day at Comiskey and Wrigley this year. It's either that or have a general freakout over global issues I can't control. April is the most hopeful month of the year for Cubs fans.

I almost ripped my face off with a bungee cord. I was strapping a box spring to the top of a minivan and it was stetched out very long. When it slipped my grasp, it snapped past my right ear with a mighty whiff. I persevered enentually and departed with it, the last item to be moved. The box spring flew off the top of the van into the middle of a busy street less than ten miles away from the apartment. Queen size. Into a mud puddle. I lugged the bastard to a chainlink service road gate to a forest preserve. Barbed wire on top. They're serious about not letting degenerates fuck with their badgers and rabbits. No peeing in our sanctified creeks. I told my parents the thing had been destroyed.

I was barefoot when I moved a garbage bag blocking my entry into the garage. My foot was wet after I stepped into the bag's former resting spot. Oh no.

My little sister is having digestive difficulties. I recommended that she sing "I Heard It Through The Grapevine" to her butt to see if the sludge would dance right out like the California Raisins. Or maybe a Ray Charles song. She laughed. So I suggested a vacuum. She laughed again. She settling on quaffing a Budweiser 40 ouncer. Always works for me. I'm terrified of the vacuum.

I'm glad to see all the familiar names here. It's been a little while. Keep floating.
7:28 PM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm


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