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Friday, February 07, 2003

I Shall Drive My Chariot Down Your Streets Of Crime

I thought last Friday was my last day at work, but things changed slightly and here I am having another last Friday at work. Here's my farewell email, which I just sent to about 300 people at once. Now I really will be more scare hereabouts on the IRC.

Dear friends,

Today is my last day here at HP. I began here in July of 1997 as the shipping clerk, and over the past five and a half years I've had the opportunity to work with a lot of great people. I've also learned a lot and gained plenty of valuable experience. It's been a lot of fun and I will miss you all. I'll be visiting occasionally to be a general nuisance and to harass the lot of you. I recommend that you keep all the doors locked.

I'm going to work for a small technology company in Schaumburg that upgrades fast food restaurant hardware. I'm very happy to have discovered the opportunity and I'm looking forward to increasing my income, broadening my experience, and eventually taking over the world. Don't worry, I will be a benevolent dictator and I will give you all new cars once my coup is successful. Vegas is giving me better odds on it than I'd anticipated.

I got my job here when the shipping clerk stopped showing up for work. My friend Tim's mother, Cheren (omitted), was working for Digital and got the job for her son. He worked here for one day, and the next day he decided to take an unannounced vacation to Poland. She was very upset when he sent the telegram from Warsaw, and she enlisted me to help track him down. I had no luck, being 18 and inexperienced in such matters as espionage, diplomacy, and the Polish language. Despite that failure she did offer me the job, and I interviewed over the telephone with Peggy (omitted) at 8pm on a Sunday night. 12 hours later I was here.

Thank you everybody for your friendship and encouragement. It's meant a lot to me and I can't wait to come back here bragging. All because of your collective positive influence on me. I might take little credit too. You understand.

Greener pastures, folks. Take care.
2:12 PM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm


September 16, 2009 11:09 AM, Blogger Tai Viinikka said...

Odd that Van Morrison would lead me here to your place across the Great Lakes basin.

Anyway, here's my request: Write more. When you have nothing to say, write, and if it's really empty you can destroy it. Don't let the honesty atrophy.


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