Situation Normal. Atmosphere Breathable. Brainstem Injected. Dialogue Engaged.
Thursday, January 09, 2003

I'm Not A Sinner, I Never Sin, I Got A Friend In Jesus!

Here I am writing another post, starting once again with a chuckling, self-effacing description of my poor state of appearance. I've got matching luggage under my eyes, patchy stubble and most likely bad breath despite the vomit inducing yellow listerine attacks. That's right folks, I went and got nuked last night, safe and sound in my flourescent cell.

I have received no replies to the letters I've sent. That's poor customer service, but the customer is never right, because there's a thousand more who will settle for less. I should be more careful. I might lapse into syllogism.

My boss is in Indiana today, so naturally I went into the storage room and napped. This after appearing one hour late. This job has never been awful. At worst, it's boring. At the same time, I'm enjoying myself here now that I've formally declared my lack of enthusiasm. Anybody with an ounce of sense would slap me with a skillet and berate me for being a spoiled little shitheel. The economy is bad, you know. Fortunately I'm insolent enough to stick my dick into the barren womb of unemployment. Don't worry, I'll bring lube. Everybody has to get off sometime, and my stop is right around the corner. I shouldn't even be on this bus. I don't belong in an office. It makes me a tool, a turd-riddled cupcake. I'm not having it.

So I've prescribed myself a few shots of sanguine arrogance. It's a good buzz, and even healthy from time to time. I like people less and they like me more. That's economy right there. I've eaten a lot today. That's why I'm sounding fat and rich right now. Time for a toothpick.
5:41 AM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm


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