Situation Normal. Atmosphere Breathable. Brainstem Injected. Dialogue Engaged.
Monday, January 06, 2003

Dear Oldies Station Hiring Manager

(formerly titled "Nobody Can Do The Boogaloo! Like I Do")
Dear (oldies station office manager),

I was driving home yesterday evening with WJMK blasting at an obnoxiously loud volume. When commercials air, I usually flip to other station to see what else is on unless one of those “more magic music in sixty seconds” alerts pauses my hand. This time, I’m glad I let the advertisements commence. To my surprise, I heard your ad for entry-level salespeople; accompanied by a name and phone number I regrettably did not have the opportunity to write down. I would have quickly memorized the information and pulled over to record it, but I was driving along a particularly treacherous and icy portion of Golf Road, and it demanded the entirety of my attention. Browsing WJMK today at work, I found your name. I’m writing to request more information about this work and to find out if I qualify for a position with your radio station.

Please allow me to tell you a little bit about myself. I hope this will provide you with enough to determine whether this opportunity would be of mutual benefit to both myself and WJMK, or at the very least, whether to continue to an interview process.

I am a twenty-three year old music enthusiast and aspiring writer. I am currently looking for a new field of work where I can utilize my communication skills and professional demeanor to my advantage. I am currently employed at Hewlett-Packard, which recently changed its brand name to HP Invent. I’ve been here for five years. I began shortly after my eighteenth birthday performing shipping and receiving duties at the Schaumburg, IL office. After one year I was promoted to my current position, site services coordinator. My duties include supervising the following contractors: landscapers, snow removal, cleaning services, vending machines, roofing repair, electricians, heating and air, and locksmiths. Duties that I perform as opposed to supervise include printer, copier, and fax upkeep, cubicle construction, shipping clerk supervisor, office and cabinet key distribution, guided tours for new hires, audio and video equipment for conference rooms, conference room setup, scheduling, and supply, storage area organization, and inventory ordering when necessary for paper, toner, letterhead, and envelopes. I also cover three breaks per day for the receptionist and send out security parts across the country. I am also savvy with a computer and frequently help visitors troubleshoot small problems. There are many other miscellaneous tasks that I perform here, although the above describes the bulk of it.

I’ve decided to seek out new employment due to lack of job security. Although I’ve been at the same office for five years, our name has changed from Digital to Compaq to HP. I’m a contractor here, not an employee, and after the last merger HP is looking at hiring a company to perform these duties at all their offices nationwide. As a contactor for a relatively small company, we cannot competitively bid for the nationwide contract, and ours is set to expire at the end of January. Instead of waiting and hoping to interview with the new contractor, I’ve decided to seek out something more engaging than facility services. I think that sales and oldies are appropriate for me, as I enjoy interacting with others and I love music.

Rereading the above, I think it accomplishes my goals of requesting information and providing my basic work history. Feel free to ask me whatever you like. I hope this letter serves as the first note of a long and happy song.

My favorite oldie at this moment is “Give Me Just A Little More Time” by the Chairmen Of The Board, although my favorites change from week to week. I’m also partial to the Marcels and the Rascals.

Thank you for your time, attention, and consideration.

It's more personal than a resume, and I think for an entry level application it should bowl them over. Tonight I'm going to have a thick bloody steak to celebrate something or other. Whatever comes to mind that's worth celebrating.
5:57 PM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm


October 02, 2005 9:06 PM, Blogger jon said...

I am trying to find copper roofing nail people and found your blog while searching. I totally agree with that...


Post a Comment

left-arrow Home

Sleep Well Minstrel Boy
Dear Vic Theatre Proprietors
Auld Lang Syne
I Am A Lazy Jackass
Dear Pandering To Drunken Tailgaiters Monolithic B...
Dear Faceless Soulless Corporate Entity Representa...
Splish Splash vs. Eight Legged Freaks
Making Waves In The Bathroom
August 2002
September 2002
October 2002
November 2002
December 2002
January 2003
February 2003
March 2003
April 2003
May 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
August 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
September 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
April 2007
May 2007
June 2007
July 2007
August 2007
September 2007
February 2008
May 2008
August 2008
March 2009
April 2009
May 2009
December 2009
February 2010
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010
August 2010
August 2011
September 2011
February 2012
June 2012
July 2012
August 2012
October 2012
November 2012
May 2013
August 2013
September 2013
December 2013
May 2014
October 2014
November 2014
December 2016