I look a bit wrecked today. I haven't shaved in over a week, I have a hole in my shirt on the right side, and I've got a large, deep pimple on my jawline. I think a spider laid eggs in my face as I slept and later on, perhaps while chewing lunch, the swollen lump will explode outwards in a weak splash of blood and pus. Cute little eight leggers will pour out, cascading down my neck into my shirt like a nomadic rash.

The weekend's indulgences have me twitchy. My eyes are red from shampoo and little sleep. I'm drowsy. This happens frequently in the morning, and I always promise myself that I'll hit the hay at an early hour. That never happens. Hello Red Bull, hello candy bar.
11:29 AM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm