or "How To Have A Useless Day"

Yesterday was a Sunday. Upon rising at 11:30 am, a luxurious time to wake, I immediately set upon preparing for the Bears game. After relieving myself and showing, I went across the hallway to my old hippie neighbors' apartment. Barely awake, I smoked a couple bowls and drank a few sodas.

Brenda has ulcers, so she makes a curious chili recipe. All the peppers, onions, cheese and sour cream are all sides to be added upon serving. She goes heavy on ground beef and light on beans. My roomie thought it tasted like Wendy's chili. I disagreed. I was a good, thick, brown-sugary sweet chili. Add humongous slices of apple pie to the top of my heap and I'm waddling like an ostrich with osteoporosis.

The Bears won.

Cue pizza delivery time. I arrived late and still had to wait forever before any deliveries came up. I spilled an oreo shake all over the floor of my car. At least it was cool outside and didn't melt quickly. I was tempted to try and eat some of it to lighten the cleanup job, but I resisted temptation. I like butterfinger shakes better anyhow. I also would've been breaking the ten second rule of dropping food. Not to mention that this is semi-liquid semi-solid. I wish my floormat had been where it belonged.

After work I bought a bobble head doll. I kind of hate those things, but it was Brian Urlacher. Everybody loves Brian. I love Brian. My mother loves Brian. Now I too can make Brian dizzy just like he made Michael Vick dizzy yesterday. The circle of life is completed again, and everything is copacetic.

I also bought Sudden Impact since I needed some grumpy Eastwood action. Unfortunately I didn't get to watch it since the roomie was playing video games, monkey ball 2. He wanted me to give him weed before I went to bed and I said no, so he ate my food and stole my cigarettes from my car. That fucker. I'm taking my weed and my cigarettes to Chicago to watch Monday Night Football on a huge fucking television. It's disgusting.

I think I am going to buy some shoes today!
12:58 PM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm