I love stopping traffic.

I'm also a hypocrite. When behind the wheel and I'm making a right turn at a red light, I get twitchy and impatient when pedestrians are taking their sweet old time crossing the street. Then again, I drive 15 miles over the limit regularly, so maybe I have a nascar wannabe issue to deal with.

When walking, however, I have no regard for all the spinning wheels. I routinely walk in front of right-on-red cars, hold my arm straight out, palm up, and lay some Aretha Franklin on their asses. I've stopped turners for kids who lack the boldness and authority to do it themselves. That always cheers me up.

My favorite moments are when I go through a busy intersection without pausing. It's a matter of lucky timing to walk right up to the curb when the left turn arrows green.

Sometimes people aren't looking the direction they are driving and I have to jump or dive out of the way. I wish I had some eggs.
11:52 AM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm