Situation Normal. Atmosphere Breathable. Brainstem Injected. Dialogue Engaged.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Yet More Entrepreneurial Spirit

I came up with another horrible idea after 10 hours of drinking beer and smoking pot the other night. As with everything these days, the goal is merchandising. The brand name:

Kids Love Farts!

I would begin with a Saturday morning cartoon to hook the kiddies. The characters would have to be cute like the smurfs, and they could save the neighborhood/universe/school from evil Satanic nuns. Each character would have a certain food they eat for fart fuel. Billy Beans would be the leader, and there'd be Egghead Craig, and Coffee Cody, among others. The theme music would be made entirely from farts of varying pitch, tone, and length.

The merchandising is where the fun starts. I can picture t-shirts with the Kids Love Farts! logo in zany letters, decorated with kids handprints, in brown of course. Next would be trading cards and stickers with scratch and sniff. The official whoopee cushion. The Brown Cloud official fanclub w/ monthly magazine and membership card. Stained underwear hats as a Walmart exclusive.

By the time it gets popular enough for a live-action feauture film, I should be able to afford Adam Sandler to play Billy Beans and Judi Dench for the head evil nun. Are you still with me?

I will be sole proprietor of this empire of puerility. I just want my parents to be proud of me.
1:47 PM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm


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