One of my duties at work is outsourcing repairs. Certain items must be fixed by their manufacturers, so I send the items off to them and charge an administrative fee for handling the item. I am a middleman.

One customer, a fast-food manager, became irate because of long delays, shipping mixups, and various other difficulties. I spoke with the vendor, who promised free stuff and chocolates to help sooth this savage burger joint managing woman.

So I put them in contact with each other. Diana (manager) called Maria (repair) and engaged in verbal combat. Diana will receive some free register components. Diana called my office to gloat, and my boss put her on speaker so we could all share the glory.

I said "I knew Maria would bend over...... I mean bend over backwards for you. she seemed very sorry, so I knew she would stretch..... I mean go out of her way to please you."

Diana speaks again, meanwhile my boss has muted us and everybody is cracking up, bending over, and wiggling their asses at me. "Streeeetch, Steve, stretch, please us!"

Finally the call mercifully ended.

I'm not going to live this one down anytime soon.
5:02 PM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm