The Great Lakes Manager Of Finance for Services must be a degree holder with a title like that. He's a big guy who waddles. One day about three years ago he spilled coffee on a spiral notebook.

So he microwaved it. As you know, spiral notebooks have spirals, made of metal. He walked out of the cafeteria as I walked in, and halfway past the candy machine I hear flying buzzsaw blades straight out of megaman combined with Earnheardt's last crash.

Okay, that's an exaggeration. It was an electrical storm in a bottle, though, and I had the prudence to press stop instead of rashly opening the microwave door. I wrote DO NOT MICROWAVE - RINGS ARE METAL on it and set it atop the microwave.

I think he was just expressing his creativity.
5:00 PM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm