This is a Monday started in the dark, with drizzle and mist choking the light away.

My friend Ian moved to Lakeland, Florida about 6 months ago. He cut his hair into a mohawk, dyed it electric blue, joined a punk band as a drummer, and lived on the beach.

Now he's in jail, again.

For a while, he lived as a leech off underage tourist girls. He would hang around the Hyatt and invite girls to come to his punk shows, and he'd get them to buy alcohol and once they were drunk, he'd have sex with them. He's in jail for grand theft auto. He took his brother's truck while extremely drunk and crashed and totalled it. They never got along anyways.

I started delivering pizzas yesterday. It was a slow day, but I made $50 in just over 4 hours. So far I haven't been molested by any lonely housewives with husbands travelling in Europe. That's better than any $3 tip, I would say. I'll just have to be patient.

I went to a Powerhouse gym on Saturday as a guest. Why do these places have so many mirrors? Is that so it's easier to check somebody out without overtly staring?

Reasons to check somebody out at the gym using the mirrors:
1. Damn, he/she is sexy.
2. I wonder how long it took him to get that strong.
3. How in the hell does she bend herself like that? Does it hurt?
4. How the hell does this machine work? I'll go use that one until somebody hops on this one so I can see what to do.
5. I wish I could read lips, cause she's really enjoying that song and I'd sure like to know what it is.
6. I could do that. Easy.
7. Damn, I'm sexy.

I really enjoyed it, and I'm going to save up for a membership. 45 minutes there beat a 90 minute home workout, and the range of muscles I can work is far greater. I just need to make sure I don't get too big, because I don't want to be a spinach-fed looking guy with a crewcut.

On Friday night I had a few guests at my apartment, and somebody asked me for something to eat. My answer: "popcorn and carrots." That's all I had. Laughter erupted. I'll bet they were stoned. Go to White Castle you freaks.
11:37 AM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm