TINFOIL VIKING SCIENCE
|
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
Emperor Zod: Ace Reporter
Teen wunderkind and all around nice
kid Zodrick Brundlebunk got out of school at precisely 3:25 pm. The
earnest and intelligent lad stuffed his most important possessions into
his trusty knapsack: a few pencils, a notepad, and his primary
instrument of mayhem, a laptop.
Zodrick sprinted to the local internet cafe, where he bought a triple expresso, sat down, and proceeded to whip out his machine. He signed on to Twitter. His mission? Why, young Zodrick wanted nothing more than to harass each and every last beat reporter employed by any local newspaper within 50 miles of one of the 32 NFL teams. That, and obsessively refresh the player news feed on rotoworld. Vigilance is the price of success. With a singular focus, he collected scouting intelligence to prepare for week three. Below is the information he assembled about both about his team, and that of his opponent, MidWestUnderdogg, owned by one mysterious and (heretofore) silent Mr. Bryan Moore. In the news: Drew Brees (MidWestUnderdogg) commented Monday: "I used to play for Zod. Great owner. We won a ring together. I play for the Dogg now, but I've never met the owner. Moore, I think his name is. Kind of a recluse, I hear."
Robbie Gould (MidwestUnderdogg) was almost arrested late
Wednesday afternoon in Wrigleyville. Witnesses claim Gould urinated on a
flowerbed in front of a home on the 1700 block of West Addison Avenue.
Police arrived too late to secure an arrest, and later declined to
comment. Rumor has it Robbie was later seen stumbling into a Taco
Burrito King with a large wet spot on his crotch.
Meteorologists in Cleveland forecast a heavy front of Adrian Peterson (Emperor Zod) moving in from northwest of the city this weekend. They warned residents to stay in their homes unless absolutely necessary. One weatherman was quoted as saying "Adrian Peterson is to Cleveland as Godzilla is to Tokyo." Except for one guy in Bryan's starting lineup. That guy, Zodrick thought, fuck him. Fuck Nate Burleson. He alone would key Bryan Moore and MidwestUnderDogg's downfall. Young Zod smiled. He cracked his knuckles, reached for the keyboard, and began tweeting unsubstantiated rumors. 9:37 PM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm 
0 Comments :: - post comment | RECENTMetamorphosis - Ice Climber & Totem CatThe Road Less TraveledThe Zod AbidesNow I BreakOld Thunderdome BoulevardEmperor Zod: Ace ReporterBEG FOR MERCY II: The Wrath Of Zod!Sands Of The HourglassMy Match BioSomething PessimisticARCHIVEAugust 2002 September 2002 October 2002 November 2002 December 2002 January 2003 February 2003 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 September 2003 October 2003 November 2003 December 2003 January 2004 February 2004 August 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 February 2008 May 2008 August 2008 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 December 2009 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 August 2010 August 2011 September 2011 February 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 October 2012 November 2012 May 2013 August 2013 September 2013 December 2013 May 2014 October 2014 November 2014 December 2016
Tinfoil Index Portal
Distinguished LuminariesAn Aquarium Drunkard An American Muslim Journal An American Woman Listens To Music blahblahblahler Commish's Corner Counting Backwards Gin & Tacos The Handsomes HTMLGiant In My Words Izzle Pfaff Latigo Flint The Lung Brothers Monster Sarcasm Rally Pete Lit The Private Intellectual The Reid Option Simpleton Skull Bolt Still Orbiting The Third Toast Warren Ellis What's New With You? Eyes Of ChicagoJamas |
Artwork & Written Word Copyright © Steve Giles 2002-2005 ::theme/gfx: tfooo :: powered by blogger.com ::