Situation Normal. Atmosphere Breathable. Brainstem Injected. Dialogue Engaged.
Friday, February 03, 2006

Ink Inc. Part Three

“Jerry, wanna make some extra cash?”

“Why, what’s goin’ on, Terry? I do pretty well here at the vet’s office.”

“I need some tranks. Lots of ‘em.”

“What? Are you finally going bonkers? The stuff I use here is for animals, Terry. The only stuff humans use, illegally I might add, is ketamine, for cats. What do you want with a massive supply of tranquilizers anyways? You’re not the druggie type.”

“I can’t tell you yet. It’s a secret.”

“No, Terry, just no. I value my job too much to pull a stunt like that.”

“Oh well. You comin’ over for the Super Bowl on Sunday?”

“Yep, I’ll bring the pizza and chips, you cover the beer and dip. And I expect a full explanation when I see you.”

“Sure thing, Jerry. Later.”

Terry decided another trip to the zoo was in order. Research was necessary. As a garbage man, Terry had developed a strong immunity to awful smells, which he figured might help him with the job application process. It was a natural point of conversation, a humorous aside to put his interviewers at ease. He didn’t have any training in zoology or animal husbandry, but if he feigned enough interest, he might be able to learn the ins and outs of the zoo facility. He would certainly be turned down for the job, but he could play the part of a zoo stalker trying to land a job. By this method he could engage the current staff in conversation. Terry was pleased with his logic.

All he needed to know were the security protocols and where the drugs were kept. He had no way of rendering pigs and monkeys unconscious if he went in there armed with nothing but zealotry and ignorance. He’d just get arrested. For his revenge plot to work, he had to be prepared. He needed to plan.

Terry shaved, brushed, and put on some decent but rugged looking clothes. He psyched himself up for his first visit as a pesty wannabe zoomaster.

“I love animals. Animals are great. I love animals. They’re special. They’re wonderful. How did you come to this career? I’d like to pursue a career in the field of untamed animal wrangling. I love animals. I just love them. Yeah. Hire me. Yeah. Hire me. Okay. Leopards, zebras, peacocks. Yessir.”

“Here goes. Gonna get those Inkhead bastards. Oh yes.”
11:39 AM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm


February 06, 2006 8:20 AM, Blogger Anonysis said...

Hmm.... those candlewax pics look a little painful, but I am sure you had fun and felt fine the morning after! ;) What a face you made!

February 07, 2006 10:36 AM, Blogger Kerouaced said...

Where oh where is this going? Nice work...

February 08, 2006 4:30 PM, Blogger karen gsteiger said...

I love it! Keep it coming...

February 09, 2006 12:00 PM, Blogger C. Warren said...

"I need some tranks. Lots of ‘em."

Love it.

February 09, 2006 7:12 PM, Blogger Bobby said...

Behind every drug, there's the story of how it was obtained.

And an ax hole in the roof of a pharmacy sometimes, too.


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