"Yo! Yo, dawg! Hold up!"

I slammed my car door and rolled down the window. I'd just left the liquor barn on Irving Park Road and I was gearing up for a big night. It was time to wage a war against depression. My car was about to explode, my finances were fucked, and I'd just bought a massive jug of $8 wine and a bottle of fizzy Mandarin Jarritos to wash down the ephedrine pills that were gathering dust in the armrest.

"What's up?"

"What's that shit you poppin?"

"Trucker speed."

"So that's the shit keep yo blood warm and you like 'yee-yee-yee!'" To accompany his sound effects, he pantomimed a hyperactive beaver gnawing on a log.

"You got it. It's a cheap alternative to real drugs. Perfect for an ugly Tuesday like today."

"Real drugs? Man, I'll git you some real mahfuckin drugs, dawg."

"Yeah?"

"Whatchoo do?"

"Coke, usually."

"You ever smoke them rocks?"

"Not often. I hadn't for... let's see here, three years until last Saturday. I got a bit carried away over the weekend, I guess."

"I got both, my nigga. You got a pen?"

"Yeah, just a sec."

"Naw, forget it, here." He pulled a tiny blue slip of paper from a compartment in his wallet and handed it to me. Scrawled upon it was DAVE 847-(Internet Edit).

"Cool man. You around here or what? I got a dealer by Woodfield and a few in Chicago."

"Right here, dawg, I stay at Marrs Court, right over there." He pointed.

"I'll hit you up."

"What's all that in the backseat- Punisher?"

He was referring to the piles of classified ads, comic books, literary journals, empty antifreeze jugs, wire spools, and a pillow of a rollerskate I made in 7th grade home ec. My car was a mess. Still is.

"Can I see that?"

I handed him a Punisher comic, one I got signed by the writer, Garth Ennis, at the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund table a few years back at the Chicago Wizard World show.

"Aw, this ain't the movie. Damn. Got any movies?"

All I had was a copy of Silver City. I gave it to him. "Here, check this out. It's no high powered action thriller like The Punisher, but it's an okay flick. It makes fun of President Bush, so I got a kick out of it. Enjoy."

"I can have this?"

"Yeah. I buy $5 movies on sale all the time. No big deal. Take it."

"Aw cool, thanks! Hit me up dawg!"

"You know I will."

I probably won't. I buy my cocaine from real Mexican drug lords. If I ever need some crack? Maybe. 9:19 PM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm