I'm still grumpy and irate. Makes me want to write poetry. Put me out of my misery before I rhyme. Anybody. Here, take this crossbow.

I've been thinking about advertisements lately, particularly those on the radio. On most stations, between the music and patter you'll get commercial breaks. On the oldies station, however, the DJs themselves hawk the products and in many cases broadcast from the store or car dealership they're promoting.

This made me think of the DJ as a filthy shill, and I wondered why the station would stoop so low to have the on-air personalities that I "know and trust" sell me cars and stuffed animals.

Does the older crowd that listen to oldies like having somebody familiar speak to them on their own level? Does the folksy, homely endorsement help them feel comfortable with a product? Do they feel that the quality of a product is reliable if good old Dick Biondi tells them how his arthritis pains are now a thing of the past?

At this point I began to like the idea. I hate commercials, you see, and it's sometimes difficult to tune them out. They're bright, loud, flashy, obnoxious, and clever. They fight so hard to get my attention and keep it. They pretend to sympathize with my frustrations, make me laugh, appeal to my self-image, and appeal to my integrity.

With the personal approach, however, the DJ's voice drones on and there's no rape of protest rock songs or twinkly jingles or mealy-mouthed children cute-ing me to death. It's just like listening to your boring neighbor talking about the weather. You don't really hear it. When I have paid attention, I've discovered that the incentives are actually real. In some cases I can get a free t-shirt, kitchen magnet, or pair of raccoon slippers for visiting said store and saying hi. Hell, they even fed people hot-dogs and sauerkraut one day just for looking at some nice wooden furniture. Cheap and pathetic, I know, but at least the bribery is up-front and honest. It's a hell of a lot better than hearing that I'll get $1000 cash back on a car that's just been marked up by $2000.

Yeah, I hate ads.
12:51 PM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm