Situation Normal. Atmosphere Breathable. Brainstem Injected. Dialogue Engaged.
Monday, November 11, 2002

Hey Rube

I've been schooled, I've been fooled. I knew better all along, but I gave in anyways. Here's what happened:

I was arriving home at 12:30 am from a beer and DVD run after work. As I slithered my car gently across the apartment complex, a guy yelled for my attention as I passed him. "Yo, yo man! Hold up ! I gotta holler at ya!"

Being a curious cat, I reversed and met him halfway.

"Whassupman, you need any weed?" I did, and I requested a dimebag. After assuring him that I am not a policeman or otherwise, he asked for the money. I said no, let me see it first.

"Don't you trust me?""

No, I don't, I just met you, and trust is earned, not given away." I spoke this in the tone of a confidant, not a scolding. He came around and I let him hop into the passenger seat.

He was drinking a can of Budwesier. I thought he had a dime with him, so I pulled up in front of my building and asked to see it. He instructed me to go to another building where his girlfriend lived, where he stayed at.

When we arrived, he asked for the money again. An eighth for twenty. I refused a second time, and said I'd wait here while he got it. He said "My girl will want the money first."

"Doesn't she trust you?", I asked.

"We've had some problems.", he explained with an embarrassed half-smile. He put keys in my hand. "I'll leave these as collateral, they're my house keys." I looked. They were indeed the style of keys issued for my apartment complex, one for a front door, and one for the back door, but no back stairwell or mailbox key. "How will you get inside without your keys?" "My girl'll let me in. Come on man, I ain't trying rip off, I'm looking forward here to your clientele."

I should've insisted to see it first. I know never to hand over money until you've at the very least seen what you're buying. But I did it anyways.

I now have a $20 set of keys. I only waited for seven or eight minutes, but that was plenty of time.

I am such a dumb rube.
5:07 PM - Bottle Rocket Fire Alarm


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